Everyone has their own friendship stories to tell, including me. I guess, almost everyone has their own bouts of ups and downs in friendship, after all all relationships must have its own problems, hang-ups and challenges in order to make it pure and strong. Just like gold refined, all of us have to go through fire in order to be purified – the metaphor apply for friendships as well.
I once had a toxic friendship once and I tell you, my life was really poisoned by the fact that the friendship is indeed toxic and deadly. In reminisce, to call it a friendship is so unappropriate and cliched because we end up not talking and the bind had been broken. During that moment, I felt so burdened, so tired and so frustrated because it was not easy to put up with my friend’s demand, tantrums and yes, the companionship. At first, things were great! We were inseparable, we were “strong”, we were invincible. I thought I finally found a real friendship, man I was totally wrong…
Friends stood up for one another; real friendships would lie down their lives for you but at the same time rebuke you when they know you were heading the paths of destruction. True friends are there for you through thick and thin; eventhough the tough is really tough, they stubbornly stay with you and support you…sometimes at the cost of their own lives. The “friendship” I had started somewhat like that but as we grow, my friend began to manipulate me. It looks just like what I have described earlier about true friendship, but it began to wear me out. Until one day, my friend ditched me and acted as if it was insignificant.
So, how do I let go of this bad “friendship”? It sounded so easy to write it here yet, it was more difficult to break the bond that is already shattered. I’ve already felt so familiar with my friend and to part with our friendship would mean I will be alone. I was so afraid of being alone and being dubbed as “THE LONER”. So at first i stayed, hoping that it would be okay. It doesn’t, it got worst.
I slowly detached myself from my friend because I am not the daring and bold one to have a heart to heart. Another reason I opted the detaching method is because my friend is a stubborn child who refused to see other’s point of view. So, slowly I detached myself and started seeing other friends, whom I have neglected.
I began to get my own life, keeping myself out of my comfort zone. It was difficult but with perseverance I began to like my newly found confidence and independence.
In short, in friendships it is important that you give one another space and respect. If your friend is manipulating you, STOP and try to tell her or him how you feel. If he or she is okay, then talk about saving your friendship. If not, I guess it’s better to let it die a natural death. Sometimes I do think it’s cruel, but genuine friendship makes you a better person, not destroy you. Forgive and be courageous to move on…just leave the emotional baggage in the past.